He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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