I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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