dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
