you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
