I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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