D3 body, D1 cock
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Send help, water and tortillas.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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