Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
