yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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