I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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