My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
