I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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