Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
