we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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