They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
