pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
zippers are such a cool invention
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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