i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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