girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
