My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
