I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
