He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
