How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
