Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
