How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
her vagine was all disorganized.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
