We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
