watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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