I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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