I feel like I'm in dance class right now
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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