Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
