Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
