i jhust puked up my retainher.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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