gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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