Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
