Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
