the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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