I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
