Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize