Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
