sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
