oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also, beer. Big fan.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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