Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
