He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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