the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
