Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
