So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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