This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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