You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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