11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
