haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
