Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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