too bad you live with your parents still
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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