1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so let's talk penis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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