How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
