She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
