I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
