you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Is it because I queefed?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize