i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
