Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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