More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this just has baby written all over it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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