Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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