A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
