hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
