naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
