woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
