You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
