i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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