im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
